Scree

Losing interest in one’s own life

halfway up the endless mountain where

belonging has been the peak,

purchase now feels impossible,

feet sliding backwards down scree.

Where to go from here?

Is there a there?

Noticing breaths are shallow,

stopping,

inhaling slowly and fully with butt on stone

to face whatever is to be faced..

a monster? more fear? loss, even still?

a sunset of oranges and purple?

an ambling mountain goat?

the wind, a waiting messenger for stillness?

Sitting, breathing on steep side of a mountain,

maybe that’s the all,

inevitable movement to begin again

in some direction or another

eventually.

In reaching

In reaching for you I pull away,

my strength outweighed by fear.

And if a word gets twisted inside, beware,

for I possess invisible knives to unsheathe.

This heart cannot take more pain

than the immeasurable already known–

the mere expectation may send me straight

to the beckoning edge.

I’m not sure friends

are for me.

Holy of Holies

The stirrings in me

are the stirrings in You,

a thread binding us that vision can not seek yet

heart and belly play, both, as one instrument

of longing.

Call up my voice,

that which is Yours

and sing,

sing,

sing

through me…

I wake

I wake with birdsong

while all is dark,

apple blossoms, lotuses upon the branch,

sweeten the air as I mourn.

Spider drops down into the sink

to sip from a droplet of water.

What we lose now makes way for what is to come,

there’s more yet unimagined

that will light our way…

Into this world

Death brought me into this world,

I didn’t want to stay.

But my lungs kept screaming for air

even as my willingness to let their fluttering stop

strengthened.

Too much pain, this embodiment amidst the suffering,

unsupported emergence of a vulnerable being

while arrows of unconsciousness fly.

How to bring it back to Love

even while..even while…

Big cat

Big cat walks the night snow,

steps broad and lingering.

What entices you to the neighborhood,

crossing unpaved road, garden wall

to gate?

Under half moon and lifting dawn,

I wink in your direction,

wherever you sit post-stride,

perhaps

watching me.

Welcome dear one,

glad we’re both out for the stroll.

Sky begins

Sky begins purple today,

Her gown cloudless,

elegant with tree lace and shapely limbs.

Worlds within worlds surround,

our globe a small gem placed among them.

Breathing in purple cleans grey

from the lungs, gathering to blossom

one cold dawn breath at a time.

Day starts Creation anew,

let’s see what imagination can bring.

Mid-afternoon

Stuffy air,

music turned low,

one of two fans rotating slowly.

The black and white photographs of yesterday,

framed moments of distant, lonesome,

beautiful lands, suddenly gone.

A grumpy, dark-mooded barista does her best

to make no eye contact while handing drinks over

the bar.

Old guys with papers, young women with computers,

the morning still holds close to this room–

a strong, clean autumn wind begs

to clear this place out.